by Tim Van Damme

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I want to write more

It’s this laptop. Yes, the laptop is definitely the problem. If I had a MacBook Air instead of this ridiculously beefed up 13” Pro, I’d write so much people would give me money to tune it down. It’s the way the Pro feels like it cuts into my arms when I write. The sexy slim wedge of the Air doesn’t have that problem, it would definitely help me write more. I want to write more.

Who am I kidding, it’s not about the hardware, the CMS I use is shit. Textpattern looks aged beyond reason. No self-respecting designer would ever wanna be caught dead using it as his main CMS. I’ve always been wanting to try out Virb, heard a lot of great things about them, maybe now’s a great time to switch. Switching CMS will help me write more. I want to write more.

Forget about the hardware or CMS, I’ve got this figured all out: It’s all about the content. I’ve got a long list of stuff I want to write about, but never get to actually taking time to write more than 140 characters on those topics. It all looks so interesting when I write the idea down, but you know how the internet works: One day’s good idea is the next day’s 80’s photo your mom found on the bottom of a cardboard box where you were wearing that cute knit sweater. Oh look your brother is wearing the exact same one! I need to find subjects to write about of which I’m sure they’ll still interest me a day/week/month later. That’ll help me write more. I want to write more.

Apologies, it just hit me, I was wrong the entire time, sorry for stealing 30 seconds of your life you’ll never get back: It’s the design. I mean, it’s got to be the design; the type is too small and only uses Helvetica Neue, the layout isn’t flexible enough, and that logo? Embarrassing! So it’s the design, why else can’t I seem to maintain this blog? I need to redesign this thing, that’ll solve everything and allow me to write more. I want to write more.

I want to write more, and that’s exactly what I’ve been neglecting the whole time: Writing. I don’t think of myself as a good writer, I’m not Frank Chimero or Merlin Mann; I’m not as smart as Marco Arment or John Gruber, I just want to write. I don’t even want to read my own blog.

So, why? Why do I want to write? Why do I want to write in English even though it isn’t my main language? Why do I take photos even though I’m completely underqualified for the equipment I use? Why did I move to the US with my wife, 18 hours away from nearest contact with family? Why do I watch every single Formula 1 race when I don’t know anything about cars?

Because it makes me happy, and helps me think, getting my thoughts straight. Heck, just writing this little piece helped me figure out that there’s nothing wrong with the laptop Gowalla gave me, that Textpattern might look aged but it’s still one of the most solid CMS’ out there, that there’s nothing wrong writing down ideas and never turning them into actual articles, and that this design fulfills it’s only function: Make my ramblings available for whoever is interested (that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna redesign, it’s what I do).

The only issue is me, looking for excuses not to write, and actively denying it.

Hey look, I just wrote more than I’ve written the past 2 months.